Five Days: I agreed to do what?

Truth be told, it's July 3rd (you likely know that already). It’s the start of a long holiday weekend for many of us. The birth of our country. Independence Day.  That's just about 18 days from dropping Bran off in Maryland. I've been settling in, sleeping less than I'd like (I think the house and kitty are mourning his absence and being extra noisy at night). Must be something I ate. Shift it off to the kitty I think. Yes, that works. It is sort of true.  

I'm clever like that. 

I've been getting a clearer picture of what life will be like for the next couple of years. It's not as if I don't understand it's permanent but I promised to help out with his "stuff" until he gets enough of a handle on things to either send for it or sell it. Take your pick. Somehow I agreed to keep the truck running - drive it, make sure it gets inspected, fix what breaks, update the software on his computer (aka, take it out for a spin every week too) and make sure his bills get paid.

Wait a minute. Where was I when I agreed to all that? 

What was I thinking?  

It's like being asked a question while I'm on the phone. You know that moment - when you hear yourself say yes, because you just weren't paying enough attention to what you were being asked and truth be told, just didn’t want to be bothered to figure it out. "Mom, can I - fill in the blank?"

Kids are sly like that. 

I love this photo. I've used it again and again as a training visual. I've a fantasy that I look like that. That I smile when I talk. Make everyone feel we're all gentle and pretty and everything is all right. Let's call her Grace. See those perfect teeth? Her nails? Hot diggity dam.  

HEY, I was BUSY! Meeting deadlines, in the training room, trying to find time to paint (deadlines there too), worrying and obsessing over all the little details that go into helping a "grown ass man" get enough of the right type and color socks and underwear to go off to camp. What? It's Boot Camp. Still counts. I'm not sure he'd given it that much thought either. Too immersed in his excitement and dreaming of the places that he'll get to go see. I don't blame him either.  

So the first week I parked the truck on the "inside" and used my car. Means I can't use the garage. I hate that. Not clever at all. So what's my alternative? Week two I switched the cars back and forth. What a pain in the ass! This week I parked the car in the garage and I'm driving the truck. Barreling along in that 1995 Dodge Dakota he loves so much, radio blaring, wind in my hair. Wind in my hair? Forget it. The air conditioning works great. Next week I'll park the truck in the garage (yes, well we'll have to see how that goes) and I'll drive the car. Same problem though. What a pain in the you know what! There's a whole other blog to be written about me and my feelings around parking outside when it's raining or snowing or too hot. This is not a good solution. I'll just have to keep thinking. Research my storage options at night. 

He has designs for restoring the truck and taking it with him someday. I'll bet that's not such a chore when you work on those ships. Did you know that close to 90% of the worlds' goods travel by sea? I didn't. Never gave it much thought. I'm sensing a theme here. How many of the things I do are not being done with my full heart and mind? How much have I missed? How will I catch up? 

A poem or a rhyme – an image of Horton the Who comes to mind, but it’s not I suspect, a moment to rest or to dig in my heels, so instead it's a rhyme and a poem from that heart. 

From “All the Places You’ll Go”

 "You’ll get mixed up of course,

As you already know.

You’ll get mixed up

With many strange birds as you go.

So be sure when you step.

Step with care and great tact

And remember that life’s

A great balancing act.

Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.

And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?

Yes, You will indeed!

(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!"

So, thank you Dr. Seuss. I loved reading your stories aloud every night. The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, I am grateful he thought to include me, I am.