About That Chain Saw

So, the last time I mentioned to someone (oh wait, it was a man - my neighbor) that I wanted to buy a chainsaw, he hurried over with his own and asked me what needed to be done. His horrified look made me wonder just what trouble he thought I could get into. Somewhere between vaguely amusing and annoying. I went out and bought one that very same afternoon. The boys and I tested it out on two or three seasons of branch crashes in the yard. Chain saws have to be emptied though - otherwise they leak oily stuff all over the garage floor. Yuck and smelly mess. One year we put plastic underneath it. Better. Still a mess though. The chains fall off and they need repair. I hear it's all because I wasn't taking good enough care of my tools. Can't even think that with a straight face - never mind say it. 

I'm hesitant to mention that I can't find it. How does one go about losing a chainsaw - exactly? It's not that small. As most people will tell you, I don't keep a lot of extra stuff around. Has a kind of vicious looking rotating chain that's hard to miss. I must have loaned it to someone or given it away - right? 

I need it back. 

The winter of 2013/2014 was difficult for the trees in the backyard. I lost some pretty good size branches. And like that last snow on the driveway, I saw the branches had fallen, inspected them briefly to be sure nothing or no one got injured as a result of landing hard enough to shatter - and left them alone to wait for better weather. Yesterday I got a good look. Oops. I should call the tree guy. In the last ten years I've spent thousands of dollars pruning trees, removing trees and gathering up the remains of tree branches that decided suicide was indeed the answer. If only I could have talked them out of it. My trees don't listen either. I don't want to call the tree guy. Would rather have the deck instead this year. Or finish the front steps. 

Positive spin is that my yard has lots of sunshine now. Less bugs and small critters. Did I tell you about the Red Tailed Hawk, the Owls? How about the Red Foxes? They're really lovely to watch. Sometimes in the middle of winter they come out in the morning to sun themselves on the snow. Very cool. I must have complained about the family dozen Deer that insist on using my yard as their personal playground. There is of course the story about the horse that ate my garden and then that turkey that landed spread eagle on the front steps. No? Another day perhaps. 

But, this is why I felt compelled to check for survivors when those branches came down. Happy to report that no one was injured as a result of the latest round of branchicides - except of course for the trees. I probably have to trim back those gaping splinters - but they are way high - and I don't like ladders all that much. What to do, what to do? I know, I know, call the tree guy.  

I could cut it up for firewood, by hand. I must have a hand saw. OK maybe not, but I could totally justify buying one of those. Don't even have to argue with myself. Every newly "Nest 4 Oner" should have a decent hand saw. Hard to believe I didn't buy one when I got the sledgehammer. I love sledgehammers. Nothing quite so satisfying as the explosion of whatever comes in contact with it at the right speed. Good exercise. No need for the gym.

Like my other tools, I'll need to paint the handle pink. No lie. I buy tools that have flowers on them or something "made for women" (as much as I loathe that distinction) so that any contractor or male of the species who is not paying attention, does not mistake it for their own and carry it away with them. Oh, maybe that's what happened to the chain saw? 

Maybe someone left it in the yard by the old woodpile. I hope not. That means it's ruined. I'll have to go look. Good thing it's a beautiful day outside.      

Flat Tires in the Rain

                       Sat Chit Ananda ~ Truth, Consciousness, Bliss ~ A Mantra                          

A college student. A laughing, cheerful group of energetic young women headed to NYC. I can't remember why. We got stuck in a toll lane at the entrance to the George Washington Bridge in 85 degree weather - it had just started to rain. We'd tripped out of the van one by one, in spaghetti straps and shorts circling the van trying to figure out what to do about a flat tire. We got all sorts of help ~ crossing three lanes of traffic to get to us. No easy feat on the GW bridge. A cop, shaking his head at the antics he's watching from the other side of the guard rail. Several interesting offers later, and in no time at all - without spending a dime, we were on our way.  Still laughing and eager to get where we were going, confident that every moment would be as rich as the last. Not at all concerned that we were driving at break neck speed on a re-inflated tire. 

                        Sat Chit Ananda ~ Truth, Consciousness, Bliss ~ A Mantra                         

$311.00

That's how much I spent yesterday afternoon to replace one (1) tire on my car. That and 100% of what was already a busy afternoon. It doesn't matter what kind of car you drive - a flat tire is the great equalizer. Bran was doing me a favor - running to Wegmans for groceries while I was helping a customer. He took my car. Easier. It's dreary, cold and raining. He heard it grinding as he hit University Ave but didn't notice the flat until he was done and loading groceries back into the car. Life lesson - when you hear a grinding noise, STOP! 

Did you know that different tow truck drivers have different stuff? Some have "breaker bars" and some do not. First phone call seemed so reassuring. Roadside assistance had everything set to go and the driver was on his way. You're all set Bran - no problem! You'll be home (with that full load of groceries) in no time. I'll deal with the tire later. Don't worry about all that expensive shrimp. It's fine. Book Group tomorrow night. 

Lug nuts are on too tight. What? It will have to be towed. 

                         Sat Chit Ananda ~ Truth, Consciousness, Bliss ~ A Mantra                        

"Driver wants to talk to you, Mom." 

"Where do you want us to tow your car lady?"

Can you hear the silence? Where should he tow my car? The dealership? It's still under warranty. Probably doesn't matter. And no, it doesn't. Reference the $311.00. 

"Did you hear me? Where do you want us to tow your car? The next driver will have to know. You'll need another work order..."

OK, so I need to call Roadside Assistance - again. Doug instead of Katherine. Confident, reassuring - well trained. I love that! "Don't worry we'll be there before you will." At this point, it's clear I've got to go get the groceries. And Brandon. 

So, there's the truck. A Dodge Dakota long bed - restored to it's original black with fine red racing stripes. Bran loves that truck. The truck he's been waiting to own since his grandfather bought it new in 1994. Parked next door in my neighbor's garage to protect it from the weather and snow. 

Still optimistic, bouncing along in the truck, thinking I'll just get there in time. It's already 2:00. I need to get back to my desk. 2:15. 2:30. Call Roadside Assistance ~ again. It will be another 15 minutes. Call the dealership to find out if there is anything else I need to do. 

                         Sat Chit Ananda ~ Truth, Consciousness, Bliss ~ A Mantra                          
                     
Service is on the phone. They will call me right back. OK. 3:00. 3:15. All I need to know is...what I don't know. I really wanted to be clear, optimistic and logical. I did. I was completely calm for Thing one and Thing Two. Thing Three? Not so much. Thing Four? Not at all, not at all. Call the dealership back. I just need to know what to expect - after the tow truck shows up. On hold again - for the Service Manager this time. Dave picks up. "Are you the Service Manager?" No, he's on the phone. I explain, yet again. I need to know what to expect. 

"Well what's the problem? Sounds like everything is taken care of. The tow truck driver will get there eventually. There's nothing else to know." 

Can you hear his self-talk? "Some crazy dimwitted female driver." I hate that. I really hate that. I just need to know what to expect. I need to get back to my desk. 

All it would have taken is someone to say, "we've got your back". Is that so hard? 

                        Sat Chit Ananda ~ Truth, Consciousness, Bliss ~ A Mantra                          

"Mom, you might be headed down the rabbit hole now. Take a deep breath! Remember what the Monk said, You're only as big as the smallest thing that pisses you off" Cute. I am the rabbit hole at the moment. We laughed. Felt better. "Steve" calls back from the dealership. 3:30. Steve, who is also NOT the Service Manager wants to know why I'm so upset. HE hangs up in a huff. All I needed was someone to say, 

"We've got your back. 
They'll bring the car here. We'll call you when it's ready." That's it. 

"Well, you know if you called Roadside, and the tow truck driver is there, I don't know what you need from me?" 

I need to know about replacing the tire, Steve. 

And I kid you not, "...let me transfer you to parts, so they can tell you if we have the tire in stock." I'm on hold - again. I'll call back. 

Tow truck driver hops out of his truck with a little metal box and a wrench. It's still raining but he doesn't mind. You already know about the breaker bar. He's quite proud of himself. Pops off the tire. The baby tire is rigged under the car somehow through the rear cargo. I get a lesson in where everything is and what it's for. And in the car I bought "almost new" - there's a beat up old spare. Will it work - yes it will. Fine! Great! Am I done yet? It's 4. 

"Your tire is shot. Sliced open. And I can see you drove on it (insert - dimwitted female driver here), so it will have to be replaced. Might want to ask why they gave you such a bad spare. Look here. If it were new none of this would be smooth."

Tosses flat, disfigured tire in the back of my car, slams the hatch shut and I'm on my way.

                        Sat Chit Ananda ~ Truth, Consciousness, Bliss ~ A Mantra                          

I went home. 

Call parts back. It's Doug. Doug? Yep. Doug says, "...don't worry we've got you covered, but why did you go home? Can you go out (in the rain) and tell me what brand of tires are on your car so I can see if we have them in stock?" 

Thing Five or maybe Six, I can't tell, I'm insane. Doug tells me it's fine. He can help. I tell him my story  as I put on my coat. It's still raining. I CAN recenter myself. Doug can help. Thank heavens for Doug One and Doug Two. 

"In fact, the Service Manager, Doug is right here. Doug? Yes, Doug. I'll tell him your story. Please come right on over. We'll fix you right up. The coffee is hot and we're happy to help." 

Note to self - next time, call Doug!  

                        Sat Chit Ananda ~ Truth, Consciousness, Bliss ~ A Mantra                          

It's Four Fifty Four. Doug Three is there waiting. He's grim when he tells me how sorry he is. Please have some coffee while I take care of your car. 

But, I want to meet Doug Two, "from parts". A big friendly fellow who shakes my hand firmly and smiles, explaining about tires and brands and why Pirelli is best. I thank him again. I tell Doug Two and Doug Three that I just really needed to have someone say, "We have your back, we'll take care of this mess and you'll be on your way!" Doug Three and I chat at length while I wait. Perhaps training is best? Service Advisers don't get corporate training on empathy, which is nuts. They aren't taught how to help a stranded customer address "what happens next". So finally calm enough to share some thoughts on training - a passion for me. Perhaps the Service Advisers could take the same training that's provided for the folks who answer the phone at Roadside Assistance? Doug likes the idea. We talk more. I can help. 

And it's Five Forty four. Traffic's a mess. I am calm. I am centered. 
I am back at my desk. I know now I'll need to think about a back up plan for when Brandon leaves again and I need help with my car. It's Six thirty three. 

Thanks again to Doug One and Doug Two and Doug Three.    

The Avocado

Did you know that you can freeze avocado slices?

OK, so another post about food so early in the game seems unwise, but this is such a great example (a little microcosm of what this is all about for me). I love avocados. I love just a slice or 4 on a turkey burger. You know, lots of creamy, high fat (but GOOD fat) yumminess on what can otherwise be kind of boring. Yea, yea I know there are other ways to sex up a turkey burger, but this is a story about avocados. 

I love them all kinds of ways. Chopped up with tomato, red onion and a dash of champagne vinegar - Yum! I love, love, love guacamole, but I can't eat too much at one time. Too many chips. I could invite someone over for dinner. Too complicated. I could ask my neighbor if she wants the other half but, well, what if she's not home? Her family would think I'm loopy wandering over with a half an avocado. You know it's going to be brown and ugly before she sees it. And then she will laugh at me. Can't have that now...can we?  

What I don't love is watching avocados turn brown because I didn't WANT to eat the whole thing. And if I can't find a way to finish it before it goes brown then I could have...well... avocado guilt. Waste not, want not, children are starving and so on. "You spent a fortune on it so you must eat every last morsel." I could blame those extra pounds on saving money or even better, saving the world.

When Trader Joe's came into town a few months ago I was so excited to buy those little ones that seem to ripen so perfectly. Cute and just about the perfect amount. After all I can easily justify having a bit more than I should because I was able to eat the "whole thing". Problem is - in a bag of four - by the time I get to #4 it's too late! Back to the paragraph above, right? Dinner. My neighbor does have a sense of humor!  

So I went on line looking for ideas on how to use and save avocados. Cover it with plastic. Yea, tried that but don't always want avocado again before it becomes that little gray blob wrapped in plastic. Spray the exposed surface with vegetable oil spray and then wrap it in plastic. Sort of works but adding oil didn't appeal to me. Dip it in water, lemon or lime juice. This also works - sort of - if you are planning on eating it right away. Buy the gizmo that wraps them in air tight plastic. Any of the above, except that none of them seemed to work for me and avocados are too expensive to hope for the best. 

And then I stumbled on this article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/10/freezing-avocados_n_1864437.html

The freezer? Really? Yep. My experience was a little different but it's worth a try. 

I sliced up the avocado and spread the slices out on a piece of parchment paper on a cookie sheet. I put them in the freezer for about an hour. I do this with fruit as well so that slices, pieces, berries, etc. stay separated and don't become an "ice pick" sort of event when I want to add them to something like a smoothie. Have you tried chopped fresh herbs frozen in olive oil? 

Oops. So easily distracted. Now about those avocados. 

After they're pretty much frozen I put them into a freezer bag - about an hour. I use them up within a few weeks so I can't tell you how much longer they'll keep. When I want to use a slice or more I take them out, let them sit for an hour or so. In the picture below, the slices on the left are just frozen. The slices on the right have been in the freezer for more than a month. A "picture is worth a thousand words", holds true here to make my point. 

If I have no patience (OK, I have no patience), then I might be so bold as to pop them into the microwave for about 5 seconds which hurries up the process. Important to note that I have a quasi microwave I bought at Home Depot for about $30 at least ten years ago. On a power scale from 1 to 10 it's probably a 3. Yours is sure to be different so test it if you want to do this.

I've also mashed up my "avocado leftovers" before freezing. In that case I treat them as if I were making guacamole - mash roughly with a fork until they're somewhere in the neighborhood of a chunky cream. I freeze the mash in ice cube trays before putting my " avocado cubes" in freezer bags. This gives me a lot of control over how much I eat at any given time, which is a really good thing for me. If I only want a small amount (say as an appetizer or on a burger instead of say ketchup or mustard) I can grab one or more slices or cubes. 

Although the article says they change texture I don't agree. I've found that the slices are just a little bit more fragile than when they went into the freezer. They taste great and keep their color. I also figure that if I want fresh avocado slices - that's why I bought it in the first place. For sandwiches, guacamole, avocado cream sauces, most recipes I use, I have just the right amount of avocado whenever I want it. The best possible outcome. 

I wish I'd thought to explore this ages ago.
Perfect in my Nest 4 one - who am I kidding - my kids, who are in their twenties won't even look at an avocado. Won't think of all the avocados I never met because I didn't want to eat the whole thing!